Are you the kind of person who cares too much about what people think of you? Sometimes this is a good thing. You put others first, feel things deeply and show up for your loved ones. But most days this ‘caring’ is to your detriment.
I’ve always been the person who cares too much about what people think of me. I let other people’s opinions get in the way of how I feel. I examined the situations based upon other’s perspective instead of my own and stressed over the things which I can’t control. To be honest, I have had the hardest time putting others’ opinions fully out of my mind. I struggled with learning how to stop caring about what people think.
As Bernard M. Maruch once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Truly, there’s always going to be someone who disagrees with you or dislikes you, and who doesn’t see or appreciate the value in you or what you do. If you spend your entire life trying to please everyone, you’ll end up only exasperating yourself.
Here’s what will happen if you stop caring what people think —
- You pull yourself out from toxic people and negative energy.
People will always have opinions. At times, these opinions can help you grow, but these opinions also possess the power to do the exact opposite. When you stop caring what people think, you are no longer exposed to these toxic emotions or people who pull you down. Instead, you understand that everyone has a perspective of their own, but others’ perspectives don’t weigh into how you feel.
- You rely on yourself for happiness and not others.
Your happiness should not depend on other people. It is a choice that you have to make on your own. As opposed to judging yourself or your values based on others’ opinions, if you look inwards to maximize your happiness, it is significantly easier to attain sustainable happiness that stays with you for long. Other people’s happiness doesn’t affect you any longer.
- You give yourself space to develop your own opinions.
If you are constantly swayed by what other people think of you, you’ll probably never be able to think for yourself. When you stop caring about what people think, you start caring about what you think. Weed out those other thoughts and focus on your opinions only. At the end of the day, you are the one who makes the decisions in your life.
- You please yourself instead of pleasing everyone else.
You no longer have to agree to things that you have no desire to do. It’s a good thing and has the added benefit of giving you more free time. Because when you aren’t focused on making other people happy and fulfilling obligations you didn’t want to do in the first place, you’ll be able to spend that time in a more meaningful way and make yourself happy. Doing things for others is a great way to boost your self-esteem, but you have to ask yourself: am I getting what I want out of life?
- You are less afraid.
Fear is a powerful emotion. It can cripple and control us. Everyone has something that they really want to do but are held back due to concern about what other people are going to think of it. If it’s something you want to do and it isn’t affecting anyone else negatively in the process, then what’s the point in holding back from it? You should feel proud that you have the courage to try something new, where others don’t veer from the path they are told to take.
- You feel free.
When was the last time you truly felt free — free as a bird? Free from the fear of failure? Free from the social constructs that restrain you from doing what you want to do? Not caring what other people think is a great first step on your way to ecstasy. You are no longer held down by the expectations and rules imposed by others. Instead of constantly being conflicted between what others want for you and what you want for you — you are finally free.